


Perfect Fit

by rosie_peverell



Category: Steins;Gate
Genre: First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-23
Updated: 2013-10-23
Packaged: 2017-12-30 06:16:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1015101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosie_peverell/pseuds/rosie_peverell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyouma had turned to leave and that should have been it, but it wasn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfect Fit

**Author's Note:**

> I just finished Steins;Gate for the first time two days ago and saw a depressing lack of Kyouma/Ruka on both ao3 and ff.net so I decided to write my own! This is an extended scene kind of thing for episode 18.

Ruka's fingers, trembling, reach out and grasp the sleeve of Kyouma's labcoat, pinching the fabric with such a weak grip that should Kyouma wish to leave, to not turn around and continue this conversation, all he would need to do is walk away.

 _Do you like me?_ He'd asked. So straightfoward, already knowing the answer.

And the usual but _he's a boy_ echoed through his mind while Ruka stammered and blushed and avoided the question, eventually saying, “I respect you!” as if that were an acceptable answer. Kyouma had turned to leave and that should have been it. Let them never speak of it again. Let the boy pretend to forget it while Kyouma really did.

Ruka's face is still red when Kyouma turns around. His chin is up but he's looking at the sleeve, the tiny piece that he's still holding onto.

He says, “I don't mind that... that we undid my d-mail.” He takes a deep breath and blushes prettily pink, and Kyouma looks away, feeling perverted for the wanting lurch that comes unbidden to his gut. “It was a big sacrifice that changed so much for me and yet... nothing's changed.”

“Say what you mean to say, Ruka.”

He flinches and says, “It doesn't matter whether I'm a boy or a girl. I'll always like you.”

Kyouma nods. “I knew it,” he mutters, looking down at Ruka's fingers, slender and pale... _like a girl's..._

_He's so much like a girl already. There's only one major difference, and I don't need to grope him this time to make sure. It definitely worked._

_And only I remember what Ruka was like as a girl. Was she really any different? I liked her then. I like her now._

_I like... him?_

“Last night I had a dream... it felt more like a memory. In it, you and I... we...”

“We went on a date?”

He gasps and stammers, “H-how...?”

“It really happened in another world line. I'm sure you'll remember how awkward it was at first.”

“No... I remember how you wore a suit. It was the first time I've ever seen you in something other than a lab coat.” He smiles, and finally lets go of Kyouma's sleeve, perhaps secure in the knowledge that he isn't going to run away. “And after dinner we practised with Samidare until it got dark and the crickets started to chirp.”

“That's one way of looking at it, I suppose.”

“It makes me sad that another Ruka got to have that date with you.”

“The other Ruka wasn't much different, really. She looked and acted the same way as you.”

“She was different, though. She was a girl.”

Kyouma stands and listens to the crickets for a moment, shoving his hands in his lab coat pockets while Ruka avoids his eyes, looking past him instead of at him. He wants to force the pretty boy to look at him, so he does it the best way he knows how; he makes a bold statement.

“Small difference,” he says. “Doesn't matter to me.”

He loves the way Ruka's eyes shine, the way his whole face lights up. He looks at Kyouma now - he looks as if the last look he's ever going to get, bright eyes searching Kyouma's face for a lie and finding none, happiness bursting from his pores like sunlight through clouds. Kyouma feels bathed in it, bewitched. He moves his arms out of habit when Ruka leaps forwards and moulds himself into Kyouma, slender hands grasping the back of his labcoat while the mad scientist reacts sluggishly, still dazed.

Ruka just fits into his arms the way anyone meant for him should. It reminds him of two lego pieces, those long flat ones that push flush against each other, all the little bumps fitting into all the little holes, and _man_ if Daru could have heard that last part he'd be sniggering his head off by now.

“Thank you, Okabe-san,” Ruka whispers into his chest. He raises his head and smiles so sweetly that Kyouma can't get an answer out. He feels so warm that it's hard to think.

He's trying to move his hands away but they move down instead, from a safe and normal hold just below his neck to the small of his back, unexplored territory. Ruka starts at first but then only hugs Kyouma tighter, fists balled in the back of his coat.

“Did you really do it?” he asks, so quietly. “Did you save Mayuri-chan?”

_Almost._

“Yes.”

“I'm so glad,” Ruka sighs, and then, “I love you.” It's just the slightest breath of a whisper, but Kyouma feels it penetrate deep into his core and smiles, trying not to squeeze Ruka too tight.

He almost can't help but brush the hair from Ruka's cheek. _As soft as a girl's._ He leans in and finds that Ruka smells like fresh laundry and raspberry shampoo, and when he touches Ruka's cheek he feels no imperfection, so smooth and warm, and Kyouma was going to press a kiss to his foreheard but Ruka gets on tiptoes and Kyouma catches his mouth instead. He presses closer and closes his eyes and wraps an arm around Ruka's waist. _We're like those two lego pieces,_ he thinks, as Ruka's mouth opens and his tounge slips inside. Ruka's mouth is warm and inviting but Kyouma can feel his thin frame trembling beneath his hands.

He takes a step back, breaking the kiss, and Ruka makes a noise that makes him feel weak at the knees. He suddenly wishes he could have something to lean on – a tree, or a wall, maybe somewhere to sit – but then he starts to think about kissing Ruka against that something and he snaps back to reality as Ruka says his name, again reaching for his sleeve.

Ruka's eyes are shiny and glazed and his mouth is pink and wet. Kyouma looks away again immediately, feeling like a pervert staring at a porno. He looks so flustered and dishevelled and _god it's so arousing it should be a sin_.

“Okabe-san?” Ruka says, voice breaking a little. “Was I... was that okay?”

“What?”

“Did you not want to do that? I think I caught you by surprise when I looked up and... it's okay if it wasn't. I won't do it again.” Ruka sounds like he's going to cry.

“No!” he says, perhaps too loudly. Ruka flinches and Kyouma fights the urge to kiss him. “I mean, it's fine. I wasn't planning on doing that when I got here but I – if you want to do it again, I won't – I mean, it's okay.”

Ruka lights up in that special way he has and Kyouma smiles back, suddenly achingly happy. This just proves that everything can be okay. He can reach the alpha timeline and stop Mayuri from dying and he can make the fact that he wrenched the most important thing to Ruka away slightly less awful, and maybe he can make Ruka truly happy, too. _Listen to those stupid crickets,_ he thinks. _They don't know that the world is threatening to end. Maybe they do. Either way they're still chirping. I can do that too._

“It's going to be okay,” he says. “I'll save everyone. You'll see.” And he pulls Ruka to him again, holding on for dear life.


End file.
